Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Does this work?

So I haven't blogged in forever, and this is a totally random subject, but...

I was on CNN.com today and this stupid ad comes up on their site. I recognize the company - they seem to specialize in these random animated ads. It seemed to start with a map of 50 states, where the states sparkle one at a time. Not too bad. Then it changed to some snake or worm thing that was animated. It got worse when they had some girl with dreadlocks, jammin to her ipod.

But here's the newest ad, which to me, is the strangest yet. In the real ad, the shadows of the people "dance."

These baffle me. As a PR person, I just don't get it. They're advertising mortgage rates and yet it features dancing people. Do dancing people have anything to do with a mortgage? (And personally, I think the man dances kinda...well... gross. What's with all the hip thrusting?)

And, regardless if dancing relates to a mortgage, do they think the dancing people matches the CNN audience? Does somebody log onto CNN to read about news and world events, sees dancing people, and decides, "Hey, I need to refinance my house?"

I just don't get it.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Magic at Albertson's

I must share a beautiful moment with you.

Lemme set up the scene: Tuesday night I went to Albertson's with Mustang. Why? Well, we carpooled to work and both needed groceries, so we stopped on the way home. Also, Mustang is doing Weight Watchers and lemme tell ya, he's beatin' the pants off me. He's lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks. Sheesh.

Anyway, as we're walking through the office supply aisle looking for tape, we pass the magazine rack. And Mustang stops me and says, "Hey, I wanna show you something."

HE PROCEEDS TO PULL A COPY OF THE KNOT MAGAZINE OFF THE RACK.

Not only that, girls, he begins to thumb through it, looking for a particular page number! Ah-ha! He's looked at this magazine before!

Surprised, I comment about this, and he cooly replies: "I know some things."

He flips to the pages about rings and starts discussing which he likes (I must say, this isn't the first time the topic of rings has come up, but not so directly!).

As Woot would say, I'm thinking "Be cool, be cool." I'm standing there, trying not to go into a hysteria of joy in Albertson's.

Calmly watching him flip through the pages.

Mustang: "I like this kind."
Me (as calmly as possible): "Mm hmm."
Mustang: "I think we should go for platinum."
Me: "Yeah, platinum would be good for my sensitive skin."

AND THEN:
Mustang: "Maybe we should just buy the magazine."
Me: "YEAH!"

So much for be cool.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Should I say "thanks, but no thanks" for $60?

So I haven't posted in a lonnnnng time about the original thing that started my blog: eHarmony.

I actually have a couple of updates about it.

First off, if you know anyone who is considering eH, they should go for it. Really, I've had good luck with it...and I hope the good luck just continues right into us making a commercial for it one day. =)

BUT I have this advice: don't sign up for a big block of time (i.e 3 months), just sign up for 1 month. I say this because I'm still getting emails from eHarmony (remember I originally joined in April) for me to renew. They're offering 3 months for the price of 1! Apparently Mustang is getting those same emails, too.

So right know, my profile is still up on eH, but it's not active (I've said "no more matches" so nobody new can see it, but former matches can still see my profile). Remember this last piece of info for my next story.

Also on the eH front, I got an email from a former eH match. We started correpsonding before I met Mustang. I think some potential was there. But after a few delightful dates with Mustang, I emailed this match & told him I was dating. I think I was pretty cool about the whole deal - said it was fun talking, he was great, but I want to see where this goes, etc. He even emailed me back at the time and wished me luck.

Well, this match emailed me a "nudge" last month. Nudge is used on eH when you've tried to email a person and they won't respond to you. So this old match decided to nudge me months later? Why? I don't know. Maybe he's curious if I'm still dating. Maybe he forgot I said no thanks (and forgot he replied good luck). But anyway, I'd like to respond so I don't seem rude, but I can't reply because my membership has expired. I can just see on my eH profile that he nudged me, butI can't do anything else unless I renew my membership for $60.

So eH dude: sorry, but I'm not gonna pay $60 to email you back to say "thanks, but no thanks." Good luck out there.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Some perspective on the day

Well kids, considering today's news, there's something that I just had to post. One valuable lesson I learned while living in DC is to have a sense of humor about the crazy world, or you'll just lose your ever-lovin' mind.

While scrolling online through pictures of today's events, I came across this one.

As background, if you haven't heard, a terrorist plot was foiled this morning that involved carry-on liquids onto airplanes. So as a precaution now, passengers can't carry on bottled water, toothpaste, contact solution, etc.

Also, lotion can't be carried on. So airports are currently rounding up all the lotion. But, darn it, this lady is gonna get her money's worth before she hands it over!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Seniors 96!

This weekend I endured one of life's oddities....

The 10-year high school reunion.

Thank goodness Mustang with me. Because, I could have endured going alone OR I could have endured going with 30+ lbs I didn't have in 1996, but I DON'T think I could have endured both.

All in all, it wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. People seemed more interested in family, general well-being, etc. than comparing professions or accomplishments. That was good. And a highlight was to hear girlfriends express similar fears as mine about attending, and to see those same girlfriends with an extra 30 lbs of their own. So yay; we were all in the same boat.

I have 3 conclusions about my graduating class:
1) the girls really like to highlight their hair (we had wayyy more blondes than I remember)
2) the guys have aged faster than girls
3) they all love MySpace.

I heard several pitches from people that I need to join MySpace. I've lurked on it to read their stuff, but truthfully, I'm just not that cool, kids. I don't know how to send people a sparkly little graphic that says "Happy Friday." And frankly, I don't have time, either. Yall know I barely have time to update this thing!

The low point: our souvenirs. We received key chains. But not any key chains. Ones that said "96" on them. Is anyone actually going to use these?! My theory: the class board ordered them 'back in the day, the box got shoved in some closet and forgotten, and years later, someone discovered them & thought they could be salvaged at a reunion.

Overall, I'm glad I attended. But I can't imagine what the 20-year will be like. It was already so difficult to recognize people at this one!

Monday, July 31, 2006

Monday in a cubicle

My work friend C sent this to me a couple of weeks ago. But I'm posting it today because it's Monday morning, only 10:45 a.m., and I'm already having my inner dialogue of:
"I should be productive"
vs.
"I should Google a new recipe for salmon"

So if any of you also experience this, or spend 40+ hours a week in a cubicle.....Enjoy, friends.
P.S. On my computer, I had to manually hit the play button.
My cubicle

Friday, July 28, 2006

Ah, the city of love...Dallas

I think I should finally post about my trip to Dallas before the month ends.

As backgrounder, Mustang & I took a weekend trip to Dallas to meet his two best buds. His friends were meeting us there - one driving in from Austin and one flying in from San Antonio. So, like no pressure at all. Riiiiight.

Anyway, we left during the weekend of July 4th. We took 2 days of extra leave so it was an long weekend. I drove the new car and it handled I-35 very nicely.

Mustang had reserved us a hotel and it was a surprise for me. He did an excellent job! We stayed at the Magnolia, which is in the restored "Pegasus" building downtown. Very chic. I've never stayed at a hotel that was so nice. The coolest part was, when you picked up the phone, the front desk would answer, "How can we help the Mustang party?" And even better: when I'd call to get our car from valet parking, they'd address me as Mrs. Mustang. Hee hee.

We were additionally thankful we didn't stay at the same hotel as the San Antonio friends. Their hotel was hosting a rap conference. The friends reported an odd herbal smell in the elevator.

Les Miserables was very good, but our seats were in the balcony and the accustics weren't quite up to snuff. The songs sung by men were difficult to understand. But overall I liked it.

Mustang's friends were terrific. Both are married and I like their wives, too. I particularly liked the couple from San Antonio. And the wife works at an advertising agency, so we had a lot in common.

We also enjoyed food not found in Oklahoma...La Madeline, Dairy Queen, etc. Mustang also introduced me to a Texas classic....Freebird's. Their build-your-own burritos came in 4 sizes, and I had the smallest one. It frightens me to think of the largest. They also had a wall of "foil art" where customers had used the foil that wrapped their burrito, and made it into sculpture. Some of it was weirdly impressive.

Believe it or not, we didn't shop. I even resisted DSW. Amazing, I know. But since I just had purchased the new car a week before, I was budget-minded.

The best part of the trip was spending so much time with Mustang. We got along so well. I have to admit I loved sharing space with him. Hmmm...I think I could get used to that.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Race to the altar

No, I'm not running to the altar, but another is....And, it seems my father is trying to push me down the aisle...

This week, I just learned that my dating counterpart got engaged over the weekend. My dating counterpart? What's that? Well, a close friend at work has a sister who started dating about the same time I did. So we often compare stories. They, too, got serious fast - even faster than me & Mustang!

Well, he popped the question and their wedding is set for Dec. 16!
First date in April. Engaged in July. Married in December!

Also this week, my great aunt died and her funeral service was Monday. In that weird American custom, the family had lunch before the funeral (I've never understood that), and I made small talk with the cousins, etc.

I had several family members ask me if I was getting married! Apparently my father has been telling people that I am! You can't imagine the shock when I got that question for the first time.
Brown paper bag, anyone? I'm having trouble breathing.
My best polite response: "Well, not anytime soon. He's great, but it will be a while."

After the funeral, when my parents & I went to Chili's (because the funeral lunch was some bad chicken), my mother said she heard the same thing! We cornered my father, who "couldn't remember" if he told people I was getting married. Couldn't remember? Ha!

How often in life do you ask your father, "Dad, please stop spreading rumors about me?"

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Cranky pants

Kids, I'm sorry I haven't posted for so long. Lots of news lately...and it's all good. Need to recap my trip to Dallas with Mustang, my family's July 4th news, my new car, the inevitable class reunion that's quickly approaching, my last-ditch efforts from eH, and my contact from an old eH match... phew!!!! That's a lot!

For now, I'll just post that I'm very cranky today.

Apologies to my coworkers.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dazed & confused

It's nearly one hour left in my workweek, and I won't be back until next Wednesday. Woo hoo!

I've been so non-productive this week. Heck, make that this month. June will not go down in my "hard worker" hall of fame. No Sergeant Intenso here. Meet her alter-ego, Lieutenant Lazy.

I also wanted to say thanks for all the good advice regarding my smurf post. I'm feeling better today. Had a good long talk with Mustang last night and told him that I need some personal space - nothing terribly dramatic, people! I just now understand the phrase "whirlwind romance." I think I've put my needs aside during this dating stuff, it's built up, and now has materialized into the extra 10 pounds on my rear. I need a night during the week when I can get all my poo together...bills, housecleaning, exercising, etc. Mustang agreed to the one-night-off plan, although I got the feeling he wasn't sure exactly why I needed this.

I think it was one of those good-guy moments where you're crying for no reason, the guy just patiently nods along, you feel better and you hug it out. He doesn't know just what the hell that was, but he'll be supportive for whatever craziness you ask.

They need a name for those moments. They occur often in my relationship, and I get the feeling they are common worldwide.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm all smurfed up

I had a conversation with Mustang last night and a horrible realization came over me: I am sooo smurfed up. If Mustang doesn't run far, far, away, it will be a miracle.

The smurfedness can be categorized into two areas: One, ever since Mustang & I have become serious, all my bad habits are coming out with a vengance. I've stopped exercising, I've gained weight, my house is a mess. And anyone who knows me can instantly name my #1 bad habit...I can't get anywhere on time. Mustang's pet peeve is punctuality and he's been so patient, but I just keep pushing it later and later. He's starting to get irritated now, as he should.

My other problem: I'm having serious jealousy issues without reason. I've accused Mustang of ogling over other women (he's a big people watcher), I'm jealous of one of his residents (a gorgeous brunette stick insect), I've accused him of still looking for Indian girls on the internet (his sister signed him up before we met). Over the course of a month, I've done all these crazy jealous things separately. But last night Mustang added them all together, along with my bad habits, and asked me just what the crap I'm doing. Good question. What the crap am I doing?

Meanwhile, Mustang has been nothing but fabulous. In this same month while I've been crazy, he's dropped the L-bomb, told his family about me, bought me roses. He got baptized (in my denomination - different than his family's), met my parents, met my brother, met my friends. He's visited me at my office, taken me to a fancy party with his colleagues, surprised me with new CDs. He's picked me up at the airport at 2:30 a.m., given me rides to work, went with me to buy a car. This weekend, he's planned a 3-day road trip for me to meet his friends in Dallas.

Just typing all this stuff out, I see what a wonderful man this is. And the best part is, he loves me! Me! Even though I'm always late, often moody, and since we've met, I have reached an all-time high on the ditzy-meter. But is that not enough? Now I seem to be doing all these other crazy things and did them without really even knowing it. Am I testing him? Do I think I don't deserve him? What the crap?

Anyway, I just had to vent. I hope I come to my senses right away.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Damn you, Denver!!!

I am sitting on the floor of the Denver airport right now. My flight to OKC is 3.5 hours delayed. When I lived in DC and flew back and forth to OKC, I was never delayed. There's a first time for everything.

Thankfully I have my laptop with me. This gives me an opportunity to:
1) Be one of the cool people using laptops in the airport.
2) Update my blog.

Because of all the time to kill, today's post will be a two-part rambling:
A) More about the party with Mustang
B) Observations made during my trip to LA

More about the party with Mustang
I still am having trouble typing with the nails. I think I'll go back to the salon and have them trimmed. Also, the middle nail on my right hand is crooked. It's been bugging me. I hope they can take it off and plop a new one on there.

Also something I forgot to post about the party this weekend...I had a massive bruise on my left upper arm. Apparently at birth I was cursed with a bruise problem. Not only do I bruise very easily (and get hickeys - they are bruises, after all), I also have a knack for getting bruises right before important events. 1997: Huge bruises on both my knees from a golf cart accident, right before sorority rush. 2001: Nasty bruise on my upper right arm from my parents' storm door, right before first day of work in DC. 2006: Lovely bruise on my upper left arm, before meeting Mustang's coworkers.

How did I get this current bruise? My ironing board fell on me. At least it fell on my arm and it wasn't on my head.

I did some internet research about bruises and have learned three things: 1) immediately after the bruise, apply ice to the area for 30 minutes. This will prevent the blood from spreading under your skin and keeps the bruise size small. Unfortunately, I didn't learn this factoid until the day after the ironing board incident. 2) To feel like a hippie and try the homeopathic route, apply a gel made of Arnica herb to make the bruise heal faster. I bought some of this junk at the organic store (much to Mustang's chagrin, since he's a doctor and isn't much for the homeopathic stuff). I'm not sure if the herb has helped. 3) Finally, information that did come in handy - to cover a bruise with makeup, use yellow concealer. This worked pretty well.
So there, kids, the best bruise advice I can give. Consider me an authority.


Now on to more fun....observations made in LA.
First off, I must say my geography is horrible and I didn't realize that Long Beach is pretty far from LA. Only about 18 miles, but it takes about 45 minutes to drive. So there went my plans to see Hollywood, Britney with no makeup, etc. We kept our eyes peeled for people wearing sunglasses (a tipoff of celebrity) while in LAX, but alas, nothing. I don't have the gift of sighting celebrities, like my friend Wooter does.

Instead, Long Beach is literally on the beach. It's experiencing urban renewal right now so many of its buildings are shiny and new. We walked along a pier and toured the Queen Mary, which is an old luxury cruise liner used during the 30s - 60s. It's supposed to be haunted. I didn't see any ghosts, but our conference did hire a DJ for our dinner, and thankfully I didn't see any coworkers bustin' a move, either. I think our conference sponsor (a web development company) doesn't understand that state employees just aren't that cool.

Another interesting thing about the beach: it was really dirty. I've never been much of a tree-hugger, but seriously, people, it was sad to see how much we've destroyed the ocean. Trash just kept washing up on shore. And people swam in this! The funniest (in a sick way) part was a seagull picking up a Grab Bag of Doritos, but he also picked up a used condom along with it. Imagine four Oklahoma women yelling at a seagull in LA: "Seagull! Put that down! Put it down, bird!"

Other things I noticed in LA: yes, traffic really is that bad. It's worse than DC traffic. There were so many semi-trucks in between Long Beach and LA, I guess because of the ports. Driving next to semis makes me crazy and I can't imagine doing that every day. And we thought we had a lot of semis on I-40 in OKC! Also, gas is uber-expensive. $3.19 a gallon. I will hug the first gas pump I see in our good ol' oil state.

I also saw a political TV ad for Governor Schwarzenegger (I'm sure I've botched his spelling - bad Republican!). But interesting thing - the ad didn't show him, or use his voice. As a PR person, I would think when making a TV ad for Arnold, exploit his celebrity factor. Work it. Maybe they tried to record his voice-over, but people couldn't understand him. I dunno.

Well, that's about it. I also have a story about beets, but I'll save it for later. Yes, beets. But now I'm ready to walk to gate B21 and see if they've delayed me even more.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

It's difficult to type this

I'm having trouble typing because I got fake nails Saturday. It's been 10 years since I had fake nails. I forgot how weird they feel. Also a development in the nail scene...since French manicures are so popular now, the fake nails are white. I think in the past they were skin tone - or nail tone, anyway. So my point is, if this post is rampant with typos, now you know why.

Why the fake nails? Saturday I attended a cocktail party with Mustang. It was at the Petroleum Club in OKC with all his coworkers. Very nice - we had a great view of OKC at sunset. The party was much shorter than I imagined - just about 2 hours. But I finally got to meet the people who he talks about all the time - his boss, colleagues, etc.

I bought a new dress for the occasion - it was a semiformal event, and the dress I found was sage green silk - kind of the type of dress you'd wear at a fancy evening wedding. When I tried it on at the store, it was nice - a little plunging neckline, but not too crazy. Well, at the party I wore a different bra with it and the dress turned from plunging neckline to va-va-voom cleavage. A little more revealing than I anticipated. Oops. It was an interesting social experiment to see how many doctors keep eye contact when they first meet you...or if their eyes go elsewhere. Only one failed the test, and Mustang says that guy's wife has a boob job, so he must put a lot of stock into being stacked.

Next week we have another cocktail party to attend - this next one is a retirement. Trust me, at this one, I'll be wearing a much more demure outfit so Mustang's coworkers don't think he's dating a floozy.

Friday, June 16, 2006

He loves me!

I have some exciting news for my small but loyal readership out there.

Last Tuesday, Mustang dropped the L BOMB! Wooohooo!

The day I returned from Florida, he took me to the restaurant where we had our first date. We had a fabulous view of Lake Hefner at sunset. Then at my apartment, he said the magic words!!

Not only that, but Wednesday, he sent me a dozen roses for extra oomph. They were beautiful - very tall, fragrant, and arranged with baby's breath & eucalyptus. I took pictures of them but they need to be developed along with my Florida ones, which knowing me, will be next month.

Mustang has been extra sweet since my return from vacation. He calls me to say good morning, we see eachother every night, mushy, mushy, mushy. I've been head over heels for this guy for a while, and now it's wonderful to know he's the same about me.

Huh, I like this extra-cuddly love-struck Mustang so much, I should go out of town again. Hey! I think I will! Sunday I'm flying to LA for work. I'll be there until Thursday.

Absense makes the heart grow fonder.... =)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

This is so important; we better make a sign

There is a series of signs I've noticed in downtown OKC that really make me laugh.

Anyone who has lived in or visited Oklahoma (or, more often, "traveled through" to a better location), knows our roads are HORRIBLE. Potholes galore. So let's hope ODOT spends its money repairing these before some car is swallowed up by a pothole one day.

But no, we make signs for the side of the road. What do they say?

Don't drink and drive - Nah.

Click it or ticket - Nope.

Adopt a street - Not it, either.

IT'S THIS CRAP!
Drive Friendly?

WTF?

Is friendliness really a problem in Oklahoma?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Tan in an office cubicle

In my six years of working in an office, I have achieved the impossible:
I have broken out of the cube world, AND I AM TAN!

On the other hand, I'm experiencing post-vacation blues. I miss my friends. I miss the ocean. I miss sleeping in. But to make me feel better, I'll post a few pics of the trip (thanks to Stacy for loading yours onto Shutterbug so quickly!).

It was a wonderful time. Highlights: Gina's signs she made while waiting for us at the airport, Julie's surprise baby shower and the trickery we used to pull it off, riding the waves, me & Big laughing uncontrollably.

YA-YA!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Sorry, I can't blog; I'm at the beach

Well, I am posting to say that I won't post for a while.

Tomorrow I'm leaving for sunny Destin, Florida with the Ya-Yas, my very best friends in the world. Imagine 7 girls renting a beach house together. It will be like a giant slumber party. I anticipate lots of laughing and perhaps some liquor. And of course some outlet mall shopping.

I wanna give a shout-out to Woot Dog, who isn't able to make it. We'll miss ya, girl. And goodness knows we'll be missing your organization. Big & I were laughing about how we'll be running around like crazy cause you're not there to keep us sane.

I also wanna note: Today is my 2-month anniversary with Mustang! Woo Hoo! He gave me a rose for each month we've known each other. Sigh....

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Two wrongs don't make a right

Wrong number + wrong response = horribly awkward/funny phone call.

I accidently harassed some poor soul when he accidently called me Friday night.

Here's the background:
Mustang & I had a rather serious discussion Friday. The gist is Mustang has developed a habit where he'll call me to vent for about 10 minutes & that's it. He isn't asking for help or advice, just needs to blow off steam. That's fine, I want to be here for him, but it's starting to be rather frequent. I tried to convey to him that his venting brings me down...he feels better after venting, but in the process he transfers the negativity to me. So when we hang up, I feel like poo. This is especially hard when I'm at work, he calls & vents, and then I'm supposed to just proceed with my day. Ick.

Anyway, we talk and Mustang leaves my house pretty early...9:30, I think. We were both tired and he had to be at work at 6 a.m. the following day.

Around 10 p.m., I'm nearly asleep and my phone rings. I assume it was Mustang calling to apologize/say goodnight (as he tends to do). It's a male voice that's not a white guy. I assume it's Mustang putting on his best funny voice to break the tension and make us laugh. The conversation:

Me: Hello?

Voice: Hello?

Me: (assuming Mustang is trying to be funny. Imagine the Seinfeld voice saying hello.) Hellllll-oooooooooo!

Voice: Is David there?

Me: Oh, who's David?? Is that your name now?

Voice: Uh, I got a page from David that was this number. Is he there?

Me: (now realizing, CRAP! That's not Mustang doing a funny voice, that's a stranger!) Uh, no. I'm sorry - you have the wrong number.

Hang up.

Poor guy. I turned on my light, looked at my caller ID, and sure enough, some poor fellow named M. Gupta really did call my number by accident looking for David.

Hope he found him & wasn't too offended by my dorkiness.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Hard to get

Tonight I had no plans...no working late, no family, etc. Just lots of time available to see Mustang.

But at 5:20 he calls and says he'd like to have some down time alone tonight.

I was bummed, but since he's on call this weekend, I can see where he's coming from. He'll have no free time this weekend - he even has to work on Memorial Day. And in truth, I know it's healthy for us to spend time alone so we don't lose our individuality and I have some solitude so I don't become grouchy.

So I go home, watch Shopgirl (which I've had overdue from Blockbuster for a week), take the movie back, and go to the gym. Once I got out in public, I was glad for the time off. I drove around in the warm summer night, windows down, feeling good. Come home to a message on the machine from Mustang. Take a shower & will call him when I get out.

But he beats me to the punch - calls again: "Where have you been? I've tried your home and cell. I was worried."

"Well, I ran errands and went to the gym. And thank you for suggesting our time off today. I needed that. It felt good to get out."

Which disappointed Mustang, because his first call - nearly an hour ago - was because he caved & wanted to come over, after all.

HA! I was hard to get! And I wasn't even trying!

Okay, okay, let's be grown-ups here. Healthy relationships aren't about playing games.

(But secretly, can I be a little proud I was hard to get?)

Beat it with a Route 44

Short post here - I can't resist.

I went to Sonic at lunch today for my new favorite, Diet Cherry Lemonade. Two strange things occurred:

1. They were playing "Beat it" on Sonic radio.

2. A police car went through the drive-thru with one cop driving, his partner in the passenger seat, and what I can only assume, a suspect in the back. Suspect had on a blue bandana & looked pretty rough. Is this legal to take a suspect in a drive-thru?

Coincidence? I think not. Remember, the video concept for "Beat it" was a gang fight...

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Are you reading this, Mustang?

I'm suspicious.

I think Mustang has found my blog. Judging from how he acted yesterday, I think he may have read yesterday's post!

"You know I care about you so much...I'm just not ready to say certain words yet."

Also said yesterday, after I told him I talked with Amy B on the phone:
"Sometimes I wonder what you tell your friends about us. If you say as much good stuff about us as you tell me."
This leads to the blog-reading suspicion because I haven't really told him my worries about his discussing his ex...so I am, in a way, telling my friends something non-positive that I haven't told him.

And that begs the question, why not? Why is it that I'll say things here that I haven't told him in person? I think the only example is the ex...

So Mustang, if you are reading this, even though your ex comes up more than I like, I don't fault you for it. You're healing from her, and by all means, I'd rather you work through those emotions now, than ignore them and they come back with a vengence later down the road.

Maybe I do express feelings here that I hadn't fully disclosed with Mustang. But surely he has thoughts about me that he hasn't shared, right?

Why does this girl change her mind so often? Why does she cry for absolutely no reason? Does she even know why she's crying? Why is her hair so big?

Remember, Mustang, if you survive this dating experience with me, a support group awaits you. There are at least 6 other guys nationwide who have wondered these questions and more. You can make t-shirts: "I survived dating this woman." Or, you can start the group meetings, "My name is Mustang and I'm married to a Ya-ya." Group reply: "Hi, Mustang."

Monday, May 22, 2006

Also for the record...

It's frickin freezin in my office today, Mr. Bigglesworth.

Let's talk about ex

Can I just state for the record, I hate Mustang's ex?

Well, I don't hate her - heck, I haven't even met her. But I do hate what she did to him.

Nearly one year to the exact date I met Mustang, he met another girl on eHarmony. Sparks flew. He quit eH after a month. They got serious right away. The M bomb was dropped a lot. Basically, short of a ring, they were nearly engaged & planning a life together. But gradually he came to realize she treated him very badly and their relationship was based on work & lonliness. They broke up in October.

Between October & March, he dated some. Got on eH again. And was very devoted to his bitterness.

He has every reason to be bitter. Things didn't work out and he planned for a life that didn't happen. I understand he needs time to heal, but in the meantime, the ex is a serious cramp in my style.

How often can an ex be mentioned before the red flag goes up?

The occasional here & there is fine:
"Ew, there's a Honda Pilot. The ex drove one. Ugh."
"I haven't been to Applebee's in a long time because we had a major fight there."
.............etc.

But where it really counts, is in the emotions. He's gun-shy because he was hurt. Slow to drop the M bomb. Heck, slow to drop the L bomb. Slow to meet my family or friends.

He just doesn't want to repeat the same scenario. And at first glance, this does look like the same scenario....both relationships started on eH, both started dating in April, both had immediate sparks. Heck, his ex even went to OSU.

But as soon as I began to wonder if she comes up too often, something happened: I did the same thing to him.

Me: "What kind of cologne are you wearing?"

Mustang: "Hugo Boss. Do you like it?

Me: "Eh, that's what I thought. And no, I'm not a fan. My ex wore it."

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The E Harmonici Code

In the spirit of The Da Vinci Code madness....I have a conspiracy theory about eHarmony. This is something I noticed a while back but haven't mentioned since my blog became all about Mustang. And yesterday's post was totally off topic. Random.

Anyway, as my membership in eHarmony progressed, and I became more involved with Mustang and less interested in the other dudes on eH, I noticed something. eHarmony didn't send me as many matches as before.

When I first signed up, I checked my eH account frequently - probably 2 or 3 times a day. And I corresponded with matches more - whether it be closing matches with the Good Ol Boys, or sending questions to prospects, or reading about how some eH dudes want a woman who's sexually experienced. Right. Anyway, I would make an effort to respond to a guy ASAP and keep up with my account.

During this time, eH would send me 5 matches a day. Maybe 2 of those 5 were prospects - they could spell, they weren't garbage collectors, or they didn't have their eyes closed in their picture. These stories are all true.

After mid-April, when I slowed down my eH correspondence, they slowed down the matches. I guess I did modify my settings - at first I accepted matches from the region (KS, AR, TX) and later I changed to OK only. But eHarmony started sending me matches much slower - about 1-2 a week!

Therefore my theory: the more active you are in your eH account, the more matches they'll send you.

So if any of you try eH or tell others to try it: I recommend you stay very active in your account to maximize your match odds.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Sporatic blogging: another chapter in a long life of on & off journaling

Ugh, so I haven't blogged in a while. Sorry. Truthfully, I'm torn whether or not to continue with the blog. I don't like it hanging over my head, becoming yet *another* thing I'm falling behind in, or another place of good intentions but bad follow-through. Apparently Urban Dictionary says this is known as blogger guilt.

Truth is, although the blog is fun, I still like to keep an old-school paper journal, too. 1) I somehow enjoy the tactile experience of writing more than typing (quite the contrary to others my age, I'm sure). 2) I can share a lot more (work, emotions, etc) in my journal than I can here.

I have been a journal girl for years. I think I started journaling when I was a sophomore in college. Well, no, wait....earlier.

I had a diary in 2nd grade. It was a birthday present I picked out. One of those gifts you wish for as a child where you plan out every detail...it had to be pink, with flowers, lined, and most of all, it had to have a lock. I still have it, and it's pretty funny reading now. In one studious entry, I wrote about my family background, in hopes that if the diary is found in the distant future, it would chronicle our lives. I think this was inspired by some school lesson about genealogy or something. But the majority of the entries: boys. Even as an 8-year-old, I'm writing about boys. I was boy-crazy from birth. Which begs the question, why I would need eHarmony.

In college I watched Oprah like every other college girl. Remember when Oprah was in her "gratitude" phase? This was circa "remembering your spirit." Anyway, I jumped on the bandwagon and kept a gratitude journal. Concept: before you go to sleep, write down 5 things you're thankful for. Actually it's a very good idea. Somedays it was easy, being thankful for some exciting things that happened that day. Other days it was a struggle to think of 5. Anyway it was great because it put my mind in a positive outlook just before I went to bed.

I also started a prayer journal in college. I discovered that somehow my devotionals and prayer time was more productive (AKA not falling asleep while praying) when I wrote my prayers down instead of saying them. I still keep a prayer journal today.

In 2001 I started a red journal to chronicle my life in DC. The red was inspired, of course, by Bridget Jones' Diary. I bought my journal from the House of Representatives office supply store - with my own money, people. Anyway, that got to be an interesting journal because it documented 9/11.

Which leads to another journal...my rant journal, where I express emotions that are too messy for public sharing. Journaling got to be very important for my health in a post-9/11 world. There is something indeed theraputic about journaling. Once it's written down, I can let go of my feelings and stress.

Finally, the journal I should keep most often but I love to skip the most: my Weight Watchers journal. Oh! Sorry, that would be PointTracker, to use my proper WW lingo. I should have started it up again yesterday, considering my scary weigh-in. But have I yet? Nope. Maybe later today...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Update - Mustang's mom is OK

Quick update, people. Mustang's mom had her surgery and it went well.

And Mustang's sister asked him to thank me for helping yesterday. =)

Brownie points!!!

Relationship test #2

Bad news, kids.

Mustang's mom went to the ER Tuesday. She's having emergency surgery Wednesday morning.

Apparently they've been stuck in the ER all day and people won't help her. Plus, they're not native English speakers, so that probably doesn't help matters. Poor Mustang - here he is, can speak English, a doctor, and he's another state away so he feels helpless.

He called me to vent Tuesday night. I tried to listen and help the best way I knew how:

I brought over some Speedy Wok.

Well, that and I got a Mother's Day card for him (he's been too busy with work), checked flight info, and got him a CD and card for encouragement. And prayed for him.

Please pray for him, too.

And he said that he needs to bring his parents a picture of me - so hey, I guess my M bomb didn't scare him too badly after all.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I dropped the "M" bomb

So you've probably heard people call the f-word the "F" bomb. Very appropriate, I think, because it should only be used for really tense situations....thus needing to drop the bomb.

Last week I discovered its cousin, the "M" bomb. That's M for marriage. Trust me, I didn't mean to drop it - it slipped out! ARRRGGG!

The scenario:
I'm on my cell phone with Mustang. He's calling me as I'm walking up to my front door, making sure I got home safely from driving home after our date. It's about 11 p.m. on a school night. I am tired.

Disclaimer:
I'm not one of those people who's on the cell phone at all times. 1) On principle. I differ from my generation and I just think it's rude to walk through life with a phone attached to my head. Talking on your cell phone at a restaurant table...in the car with friends...bluh. Granted, if somebody calls, it's OK to answer, talk briefly & say you'll call them back. But entire conversations that leave the present party feeling awkward, I'm not a fan. 2) I can't multitask. Try as I might, and although my job often depends on it, I'm not best at this. It can be done but one of the projects suffers. Thus, when I'm on the phone, I don't do dishes, etc. I don't like to drive while on my cell phone. I'll sit in a parking lot if I get a call in my car. This is so I can concentrate on my phone call.

So back to the story:
I'm walking up to my front door, at night, no porch light on, digging for my keys, on the phone with Mustang. Conversation:

Me: "When I saw my grandma this weekend, she asked about my dates with you."

Mustang: "Do you think your grandma would have a problem that I'm brown?" (Remember, he's Indian, people.)

Me: "Ah, no. I have a cousin who's married to a guy that's Vietnamese. "

Mustang: Oh, so other people in your family have interracial couples.

Me: Yeah. And more than anything, GRANDMA WILL JUST BE EXCITED THAT I'M GETTING MARRIED.

Seriously, people. I really didn't even know I said it. I was unlocking my front door. In the dark. 11 p.m.

Anyone see Bridget Jones? Remember the scene where her boss (Daniel Cleaver/Hugh Grant) catches her on the phone, she lies & says she was talking to some famous author, and her boss says, huh that's weird, since he's dead?

Then it shows the F bomb written across the screen, conveying what Bridget is thinking.

That was me. Thinking the F bomb because I just dropped the M bomb.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Do opposites attract, or are we looking for ourselves?

Here's the thought I've been mulling around ever since I signed up on eHarmony. Sure, Dr. Whatever has his 29 magical characteristics that match us. But what is a match, in eHarmony's eyes? Is a good match a couple who are opposite so they challenge each other? Or is a good match a male & female version of the same personality?

There are pros and cons of both. On the opposite view, I could see how we challenge eachother.

For example, I'm an introvert and I naturally want to withdraw, especially in conflict. So I benefit from relationships with extroverts, who want to get everything out in the open and prod me into expressing myself. On the other hand, when I need solitude to rejuvinate, my extrovert pals don't understand this and take it personally when I want to be alone. My need for solitude isn't about having nobody around; it's about needing to be with myself.

So is it better to have a couple who's exactly alike? I'm not sure about that either.

Of course, you'd have a lot in common and you would communicate well. But on the other hand, you are so much alike that you feed off each other - and that could be negative. For example, my mom & I are very much alike, and if one of us is down, we bring the other one down with us. And Mustang & I have experienced this phenomenon ourselves over the past 10 days.

On a physical standpoint, people actually are attracted to other people who look like us. Such as cute married couples who look alike. There's actually scientific evidence of this. Here's another fun article that explains other measurable ways we are attractive: such as a hip/waist ratio of 0.7, which is the average for Miss America.

And if we try to answer my original question (attracted to opposites or ourselves) with real scientific research, then we have a winner: ourselves. Apparently there are tons of research that we look alike, have the same values, heck - even have the same metabolism (which is true - Mustang has the same weight/dieting issues as I do). I have learned from my crude internet research that all scientific studies say good relationships are based on people who are alike.

So there you go. Dr. Whatever and eHarmony are indeed following science. My 60 bucks was not in vain.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I got "other" -ed

As you remember from my 4/13 post, there are several ways to close a match on eHarmony. One of the most lame excuses is "other."

Well, this week, I received the icky "other" excuse. Some guy in Elk City wanted to close our match, and he said his reason was "other." Which begs the question, what is the real reason he wants to close our match? It can't be because he thought I was ugly - I don't post my picture until stage 3, and he closed me at stage 1. If it were due to something I said on my intro page, there's an eH reason available that says "based on your profile, I don't think we'd match." So what is it?

Hmmm...for purely journalistic purposes, I'd like to email Mr. Elk City back and investigate the truth. But am I a hard-hitting journalist? No. I'm state employee who needs a blog because it's the only way I get to write.

Mustang said he has received the "other" excuse, too, and he never understood it, either.

Which leads me to a short tangent - Mustang has been in a foul mood this week because he's very stressed at work. While I agree he has every reason to be stressed, it's been an interesting week. To quote Julie from Real World: New Orleans (which BTW, was the best season): "You see the quality of the oil when the olive is pressed." I guess I've discovered the down side of feeling so comfortable with Mustang - we see each other with no pretenses, and that includes when we're cranky.

But hey, I'm not about to bail - he's got his own surprise coming when I become cranky someday soon.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Prayer works - what a concept

So today I'm blogging about Mustang and my insanity, again. I promise tomorrow's post will be about eH.

As you know, I've been torn about how to approach this relationship with Mustang. I feel myself falling for him, and I'm uber-scared. Lately a local hospital has been running a TV commercial that uses the Nat King Cole song, L-O-V-E. A line from the song says, "Take my heart, please don't break it." My feelings exactly.

So earlier this week, I've been wondering how I can distract myself from my true feelings. Is this the best approach? Probably not, but I'm open to anything at this point. I considered getting back into the eH trenches, and I now realize that's a stupid idea. It'd be playing games, and I'm soooo not a game-player. And Mustang and all the potential boys I'd email wouldn't appreciate it, either. So that plan is out.

Thankfully, Mustang and I had another DTR discussion this week, and this one resolved itself very well. He's equally freaked as I am, and we've been tossing around the idea of praying together.

Now, lemme just pause a moment here - I am by NO means a saint. Growing up in church, I always heard you should pray with your date/spouse, but honestly I've always been afraid a guy would laugh his rear off if I suggested this to him.

To be candid, Mustang & I click so well - um, chemistry-wise - that we're not sure how to handle our good/yet-not-so-good-for-us mug sessions. (Mug is another sorority term for making out.) Truthfully, we're fresh out of ideas and so I tossed out the prayer suggestion. Waited for him to laugh. And he said it was a good idea! Phew! But neither of us have had the courage to go for it yet. Praying aloud is not my strong suit.

Wednesday night, amid the quality kisses and the strong feelings, we got all weirded out again. Mustang brought up the prayer idea yet again, and this time, we went for it. I prayed first, aloud, and then so did he. It was so great! (Is it wrong to be attracted to someone based on how they pray? Huh.) But seriously, he prayed that we seek God's will for us, even if it's not for us to be together. And since that prayer happened, it has made all the difference.

I feel much more peaceful about things now. Granted, I'm still crazy about Mustang, but I just see things in a different light. Yesterday I even found a great article on Crosswalk.com about preventing a broken heart. Funny thing is...the article quotes some scripture that says we shouldn't be unequally yoked, and Mustang has talked even talked about this scripture himself.

And I'm not so scared anymore. Sure, Mustang could break things off and I'd be bummed, but I'd much rather be happy - even if it means not winding up with Mustang or any guy - than be in the wrong relationship. Instead, I'm more excited about getting to know Mustang as a person, the joy of dating, and faith in general.

Lean not on your own understanding. Got it.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

In the database - to be or not to be

That's the question I'm pondering right now regarding my eH account. Currently, I have changed my eH settings so that they don't send me any new matches. I thought it was too much to keep track of, and honestly, my interest level isn't there on new guys...some cute boy who drives a Mustang has my attention....

So everytime I log onto eH, it takes me to a special page and interrupts me to say:

"You have chosen not to be in our matching database. New matches will not be sent until you are re-instated."

Then it asks to choose one...yes, put me back into the database; or no, continue as-is. For about the past 2 weeks, I've said no, but now I'm reconsidering.

Here's why: I'm trying to keep whatever shred of sensibility I still have with Mustang. It's pretty much null & void at this point; I can't concentrate on anything, I think everything he says is brilliant, the man could do no wrong. But to prevent me from going totally over the edge, maybe I should start distracting myself with other eH matches. Then I wouldn't be thinking about him all the time, I could get some work done, and I could guard myself a little longer. At the least, he could be the benchmark against which all other eH matches are measured.

But let's be honest - that's so counterproductive to the whole eH concept. Basically, I'd be playing games with these new poor souls...little would they know that I'm already dating somebody else. Heck, Mustang & I describe one another as boyfriend/girlfriend. And wow, would Mustang be totally jealous if he knew I was back on eH. He already knows that I have this blog (which is stupid I told him, I know, what can I say - my judgment has been out the window this month) but I didn't tell him the address, he can't find it with Google, and it's killing him.

I dunno. It's just tough. He's trying to pace things slowly because he doesn't want a repeat of his last eH experience.....met his ex, got very serious quickly, talked about marriage, broke up & broke his heart...and I respect that. I just know that I'm losing my head and I need to find a distraction until he's ready to come around. Ugh....I feel so girly & vulnerable.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Dealbreakers

Today I'll actually post about eH. It occurred to me last night that I have about a week left on my membership. Am I renewing another month? Heck no! Let's pray the next time I get on eH, it's to tell my success story. Mustang said he noticed the eH commercials don't show interracial couples; maybe we can be the first one.

Geez...I've already gone on a tangent about Mustang....focus, girl, focus....

As you remember, the eH process has 4 stages...first, multiple-choice questions. The second stage is where you exchange your "must-haves and can't stands." For those Sex & the City fans like me, I call the latter the "dealbreakers," i.e. Carrie's smoking was a dealbreaker for Aiden. BTW, I always liked Aiden better than Big.

Anyhoo, there are 10 items of each category...10 musts and 10 dealbreakers. It's amazing how much you learn from these. Things can be going well, I like a guy based on his introductory profile, his multi-choice questions are good, and then BAM! I can't close the match fast enough because of his stage 2 stuff.

What, you ask, could be so revealing?

1) There are some seriously superficial guys out there. When 3 out of 10 musts are about physical appearance, whoa. Must be attractive, must be stylish, must be a supermodel (okay, I made up the 3rd one, but really, people). There's also a dealbreaker where you can say your mate can't be overweight, and I've had about 4 guys use this one. Buh-bye. There's an irony about this overweight one, and again I'll refer to another blog about it. See the blog http://kj4ever.blogspot.com/2006/03/eharmony-hates-fat-people.html. (BTW, viewer discretion advised...this blog curses a lot).

2) On another quirk about the dealbreakers, some of them are really weird. No television junkies, no worriers, no flirts. Why in the world would somebody choose no flirts? Isn't flirting a key element of dating? How am I going to let you know I like you, if I can't flirt? And a dealbreaker that's available is no porn. Now, have I had any guys choose THAT one? Whadda you think? And here's what's odd...there's a dealbreaker available that says no illegal drugs. Duh - obviously. So of course I choose this dealbreaker for me. What's weird is, few guys choose this. I guess they'd rather have a skinny, attractive crackhead.

3) Of course there are nice, real-life, deeper qualities to choose from. Must be affectionate, must have same spirituality as mine, must be kind. No rude people, no infidelity, no racism. Mustang must have someone who wants children (yay) but one of his dealbreakers is punctuality (ahem, not one of my best qualities - ask my coworkers).

4) The funniest must-have quality to me is "must be sexually experienced." Again, I've had about 3 guys choose this one. That takes this big V girl right out of the running. Close match. Funny part is, 1-2 of these guys have asked me to open our match again. How I've thought about scaring the socks off the guys, email them back and say, dude, trust me on this...

As you have learned, there's a lot you can tell about a person from their list of musts and dealbreakers. In fact, it's so revealing that I wish I hadn't closed so many GOBs at first, so that I could have seen their lists. Quite the source of entertainment.

And speaking of GOBs, is there a dealbreaker available that says "must not use Skoal"? Nope. Oh, how I wish there were...that, and "must not spend excessive time with barnyard animals."

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Convertible + Oklahoma wind = bad Easter hair

(beep beep, beep beep, beep beep)
We interrupt this usual blog topic to bring you this message...Happy Easter, everyone!

Easter is my favorite holiday of the year. So many reasons....
1) it coincides with spring, and it seems the whole world is rejoicing.
2) there's not a whole lot of commercialism that dilutes its message (although I guess there are the egg hunts).
3) it's all about starting anew...new Easter dress, new spring, new hope. I always feel much more renewed & energized after Easter than I do on New Year's.
4) Cadbury eggs. 'Nough said.

This Easter has been terrific. I tried to honor Lent and give up fast food. That lasted a week, I think. So Lent is something to work on next year. I think Lent is really cool, and us Baptists are really missing out that we don't celebrate it or Holy Week.

I DID go to Good Friday service, at least. With the date. Hmmm....I need to give him a nickname, so you guys can distinguish between the date (the person) and a date (an event). Let's name him Mustang, because that's what he drives.

OH! Speaking of the Mustang, so he offers to drive us to church Friday night after work. I got dressed up (remember this is only our 3rd weekend together...although it seems like we've known eachother wayyy longer than that). Lemme tell you, I had quality hair. Wore it curly, hairspray, the works. And after he comes to my front door, we walk around the corner, and the car's convertible is down. CRAP. He offers to put the top up, but I don't want to be the high-maintenance girl who whines. So I pull out my hair clip (I now carry these in my purse at all times) and say let's go.

The hair clip is no match against 75 mph driving, Oklahoma wind, and the Kilpatrick Turnpike.

Anyone remember Bridget Jones' Diary, where they show up at the bed & breakfast after driving in his convertible? That's me, walking into Henderson Hills for Good Friday service.

I seriously got the feeling our greeter lady couldn't take her eyes off my hair.
"Hi, welcome to our Good Friday service!"
...eyes wandering toward my forehead....
"Here is your pamphlet that will lead you through the self-guided tour."
...eyes now fixed on my stringy bangs...
"Take your time and we hope you enjoy the service."
....courtesy smile from greeter lady, who is now thinking, bless this girl's heart, she has no idea what her hair looks like...

Today Mustang & I are going to Easter service together. I'm so excited. Will have to bring the tissues; I always cry on Easter Sunday, as he has been forewarned. We're going to the church that we'd been visiting before we met, and we're kinda joking/looking forward to seeing our Singles minister and his reaction to seeing us together. We imagine it's gonna be weird for him, he knowing us separately, asking us to get involved in the new SS class for 20-somethings (which is odd he asked Mustang because he's 31...guess he doesn't look it). We both said we would, but then we haven't been back to church since then. The week that our Singles minister asked us to get involved in the new class, we both had been to SS that day - I went to the 9:30 class, Mustang went to the 11 class. Funny thing is, when our Singles minister talked to us, we each got the feeling he was trying to tell us there were cute dating prospects in the opposing class (i.e. he told me, "yeah, we don't have a good group of young singles built up yet...but we did have several young single guys in the 9:30 class....hang in there, we'll get more"). My thoughts are, that's fine, but I'd just like a group where I can feel welcome studying the Bible together...guys or no guys....

Although my mother would probably insist on there being guys...it brings her great joy to tell friends that I met somebody at church. She's afraid to tell people I met someone on the....GASP!...internet...so saying that we go to the same church is, well, accurate. Technically.

Sending out a little prayer right now that Mustang keeps the top UP today for Easter.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Close match (AKA get the ax)

One of the most interesting parts of eHarmony is closing a match. This is how you tell a person that you're not interested.

As you know, when I first joined eH, I received about 5 matches per day. These are sent from eHarmony; you can't go out looking for them. After I received a match, I'd either immediately email them (if I liked what they had to say) or I'd just let the match sit idly by (this is the destiny of the GOBs). Some of the idle matches would email me (again, mostly GOB).

As I was looking through my matches, I saw there were two options at the bottom of each match: "put on hold" and "close match."

***Lemme make a side note here, and for you grammar-nuts out there like me, this is a prime example of why the English language is so jacked up. At first blush, I thought that close match worked like bookmarking a match - if you're thinking, "hmmm....we have a lot in common; we are a close match!"

So I was thinking that close match was a good thing, but just hadn't been brave enough to use it yet. I assumed put on hold was a bad thing, but truthfully I didn't want to tempt the eH karma and put a bunch of dudes on hold, and then not get any more matches.

I also wondered if there was some etiquette regarding putting a match on hold. Like anyone who knows me could testify, I'm a rule-follower and a people-pleaser. So what'd I do? Of course, I research the eH site to find out what advice they give about holding matches. No luck there, but I did Google the topic, and found this very, very good description. Here it is, courtesy of some other lonely person out there in the eH trenches....http://www.ewooing.com/2005/08/30/closing-off-communication-on-eharmony/

Read and enjoy.

PS - I came home last night to a flower & note taped on my front door. The note apologized for this weekend's weird discussion and said "he's looking forward to our relationship flourishing."
*Sigh*

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I'm alive and posting

Sorry I fell off the planet for the past week. It's been a long ride into this wild frontier called "relationships."

My date that I gushed about earlier is still around...in fact he was in Las Vegas last week and during the hours I spent in front of my computer, I was emailing him. Things were great. Hearts and flowers. My coworkers would testify I was floating on a cloud.

This weekend we saw eachother and I guess we had a DTR (sorority speak...Define the Relationship). It was alright, but weirdness abounded. We're both really freaked out. I told him that I feel like I'm dating myself, and he totally agreed. We both have really strong feelings but the practical sides in us want to pace things out. Ugh. We both over-think things and get wayyyy too introspective when we're tired. And trust me, we're tired. We fell asleep Sunday watching Season 1 of The Office.

Another development during the past week...I told eH to not send me any more matches for the time being (this is a computer setting that I can change if I want). As I alluded to before, I was receiving an average of 5 per day and it was getting way too tough to manage. Plus, I felt it wasn't fair to these boys from Kansas, Arkansas and wherenot to be matched with me when not only a distance is a factor, but now my current relationship is a factor.

Anyhoo, better go...tomorrow I'll post about closing matches, which is one of the most interesting parts of eH.

Monday, April 03, 2006

The photo dilemma

Although things are going extremely well with my date from Saturday, I still feel obligated to give other eH dudes a chance (and have I mentioned the $60 it took to sign up), so today's post will be about photos on eH.

One very cool thing about eH is the high level of security they've built into the system. For example, the entire time you correspond with a match, all correspondence is routed through the eH site. So dudes never have your email address.

They also have it set up where you can post your photo, or you don't have to post it, or (my favorite) you choose to post it at a specific stage in the correspondence. As you know from past posts, there are 4 stages of correspondence; I show my photo on stage 3.

I've noticed several things about photos on eH:
1) Some people out there have GOT to get some new photos made. Outdated is an understatement. Seriously, dude, grab a friend and ask them to take a picture with your camera phone. Sure, if I had a choice, I'd also like to use a picture from 1997 (when I was like three sizes smaller), but that's just not right, is it? And don't post a picture where your eyes are closed. Really.

2) Regarding the security feature (photo will show later), I'd say about half the dudes use it. Which is interesting, because if some guys are courageous enough to IMMEDIATELY show their photo where their eyes are closed, what the heck is out there to make them hesitant? I guess some could have security concerns, like I do...

3) Scum that cut me because I didn't post a photo. The first 1-2 days I was on eH, I didn't have my photo up because I'm old school & I don't have a digital camera. So I scanned a couple of pictures and uploaded them. The very same day I uploaded my pics, I got a message that a guy had cut me because I didn't have a photo (yes, you give people reasons why you cut them...I'll get to that later this week). Well, when somebody cuts you, in turn you have an opportunity to reply to them. So I did, and said I have a photo now, just to show him that I'm not a TECHNOPHOBE (work peeps know what that referenced). Anyway, after I did that, not only did the guy "un-cut" me, he then proceeded to contact me for stage 1!! What a jerk! So I then cut him. Ha. =)

Okay...other topics to discuss in upcoming posts....the concept of cutting matches, how eH matches us lonely people, how stage 2 reveals a lot, and I'll probably goosh on my date some more. =)

Oh! And I finally reached stage 4 with another guy, so we'll see if he proceeds to the infamous OPEN COMMUNICATION. Aaahhhh....

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Maybe I COULD date a guy shorter than me...

So I had a first date last night with a match from eHarmony. Wow, I was so nervous! Especially at dinner.

My first impression: CRAP, HE'S SHORTER THAN ME. I really, really don't like guys to be shorter than me. It's just that I'm not a petite girl myself, and I'd like to feel like a non-Amazon woman, thank you. Have I ever dated a guy shorter than me? No. Of course have I dated much? No. I've always said short is a dealbreaker. Maybe my standards are a little too high (no pun intended)...

But the good news: time FLEW by. We closed down the restaurant (granted, we got there at 8). He's incredibly intelligent, very funny, and talks about God more than I do. And although he's short, he's stocky. Oh, and he has a goatee (ah yeah!).

Granted, there are a few things might be challenging. He's a different race than I am, and although we're both cool with it, we have family/friends who'd probably never say anything outright about it, but would be a little disappointed. Hey, and let's be honest, how many interracial couples do you see in Oklahoma. And, he got over a serious relationship 6 months ago and he mentions her a little more than I'd like. But that may be because he's an open book.

I like him so much, and part of me thinks that the whole scenario...sign up for eH, talk to the first match I had, BAM! found a somebody to date....was way too good to be true. I've already started (even before the date) praying over this. Gonna have to bump up the prayer frequency even more because I didn't think the first date would go so well.

Am I still using eH to talk with other guys? YEAH! I've gotta work that $60. I've advanced to stage 3 on a couple more guys now. And you people are reading this to get the inside scoop on the quirks of eH.

Overall, I think the date was important to both of us to see if the chemistry was there. Obviously we have great conversation, but I know from experience last summer (toothpick guy, for those who remember) that conversation doesn't make up for no spark.

Did we have good chemistry? Oh yeah. So maybe I COULD date a guy shorter than me...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Didn't expect this

Okay, I'm gonna post something that's far from what I expected. It's day 7 of eH, and I have a date tonight. I know it's really fast and the rational side of me keeps thinking, "this is weird" but the other side is thinking that maybe there really IS something to eHarmony.

So this guy & I have been progressing through the 4 stages within eH this week. First you start with fun, multiple-choice questions, then you exchange your must-haves & dealbreakers, then you continue with open-ended questions where the recipient can type lengthy answers. If you pass all 4, you can proceed to the biggie: OPEN COMMUNICATION.

I have now had about 25 matches on eH. Some have progressed to stage 3; most are at stage 1 . My date is the only guy who've I reached OC with. We're now at the stage were we can email eachother at any time - but for security, the emails always go through eH. Thus, he never has my real email address.

We exchanged a series of emails last night, and after a while, he suggested it'd be easier to call eachother. HOURS later in our phone conversation, we decided that we should meet. He's going out of town for a week and we were both too excited to wait until he gets back.

I know - it sounds so crazy and trust me, this is really out of character. Be assured we're going to a public place and my family knows I'm going.

But here's why I was okay with meeting already: we have so much in common that it's downright scary. We WORK within a mile from eachother, we LIVE within a mile from eachother, we go to the same church! We have actually visited the same singles Sunday School class, but just on opposite weeks. And if you're skeptical if that church thing is really true (I was), he could name people in the class and describe what they looked like.

So tonight I'm going to my first date in 7 months. I'm so nervous, but I also can't wait to meet him.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Just the good ol' boys (part 2)

Okay, so I think the good ol' boys are attracted to something I've posted on my eH intro page. More specifically, my list of 3 things I'm thankful for. They are:

1) To live in America
2) My family
3) Forgiveness

So here's the interesting thing: as I showed my intro page to a coworker/friend, she was surprised. The America comment just struck her as odd...or rather, just not like me. She said it makes ME sound like I'm a good ol' gal, and - as you know - I'm an "indoor girl." That led us to an interesting discussion: while many of us are indeed glad we live in America, why is patriotism is associated with GOB?

No, I don't have a ribbon magnet on my car; no, I don't belong to the NRA (although my father does); no, I don't own a sweater vest with flags & stars on it. But I am really glad I live here. A few months back, I saw this fascinating PBS special about global health, particularly about malaria and AIDS in Africa. And I just kept thinking, what if that were me? What if I had been born there? Or - I loved how excited Iraqis were when they had their first election and they dyed their finger purple to show they voted. Why don't Americans have the same excitement every time we get to vote? Why don't more peeps in my age range vote? (Although I can live without a purple finger, thanks.)

So after my friend's observation, I wondered if I should change my America comment in an effort to deter the GOB. And darn it, I'm not! I really am glad I live in America. Take that, Johnny Depp!

And an interesting footnote: The GOB's have seemed to bug off own their own. Now, on to more superficial topics...

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Just the good ol' boys (part 1)

Isn't that the first line from the theme song to the Dukes of Hazzard? (The TV show, people, not the lame excuse of a movie to showcase Jessica Simpson.*) Anyway, something is going on with my eH profile that keeps sending the good ol' boys to me. Now, lemme just say I have nothing against GOB. Hey, I'm a member of the GOP. And I would say that some of my girlfriends would prefer to be with a GOB. But I'm just more of a city girl...or perhaps it's more accurate to quote Titanic and say I'm more of an "indoor girl."

Anyhoo, there are two theories why the GOB are knocking down my door. 1) Something's going on with my eH profile (that I can't change, BTW) that's matching me with them. Dr. Whatever needs to tweak one of his fabulous 29 personality indicator things. 2) I'VE typed something on my introduction page that is turning on the GOB. I've discussed this dilemma with a coworker and she believes this is the problem.

...Wait a minute, lemme back up and explain how eH works and what's the difference between the above two items. When you first sign on to eH, you take a personality test. And I intentionally chose the word "test" here over "quiz", people. Takes about an hour to fill out this bugger. Anyway, throughout the test eH posts little reminders: "Go with your first instinct!" "Remember: 8 million other lonely people!" etc. Later (probably when they know you're starting to ask yourself if being lonely is really THAT bad) they become cheerleaders: "We know these are hard. You're almost done!" Anyway, your answers from this hour-long thing are what make up these magical 29 personality indicators. These are what eH uses to match you.

THEN, before you start searching on eH, you build an intro page about yourself. Some of this is lighthearted (5 things you can't live without - coffee - duh), some is more reflective (aside from your parents, who is the most influencial person in your life). Much of the info is pre-built for you based on your personality test you've already finished (and you're so relieved you finally did). Other info you get to fill out yourself. One such item was to list 3 things you're most thankful for. And this is where I may be bringing the GOB.

What, do you ask, could I have said that may be drawing the GOB like moths to a flame? What would YOU say you're thankful for, if you made an eH site? To be continued....

*On the Jessica Simpson topic, next time you see a Pizza Hut commercial for those cheesy bites, notice how she practically FROWNS when she says "Start poppin'!" This really bugs me.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The inaugural post

(And the crowd goes) Aaaaa-hhhh!
I've started a blog. Before I say more, lemme lay down some guidelines here:

What this blog IS:
I have joined with the 8 million (according to their spin) other desperate folks out there and joined eHarmony. Yes, that Dr. Neil Whatever and all his commercials finally got to me. (Well, that and the last of my best friends meeting her Mr. Right; and a work friend having a baby, which made my biological alarm go into hypermode.) Two weeks ago, one of Dr. Whatever's commercials would make me wanna hurl or at least throw something at the TV. Now I've joined the masses. The following testimony is an account of my experience.

I hereby vow, to the best of my ability, not to dog too much on the dudes on eHarmony - more about the experience as a whole, how the process works, and what I learn about my tendencies with guys. If I use examples of dudes I'll change their names. I just keep thinking, if some guy out there is doing the same thing I am right now, I sure wouldn't want him blogging about me, however nutso he might think I am.


What this blog is NOT:
Super-cool with graphics and links to websites and whatnot. I'm just not that cool.

A daily update. I'll try to keep it current as much as possible. But I'm realizing on Day 2 of eH that it will be time-consuming in itself (and hey, it should be, for $60 a month). So let's all just pray right now that one day my updates on this blog will slowly diminish, because I've been swept off my feet. Ha.

------------
So that's it. Later I'll post about some things I've already experienced...making a list here to remind myself...my America comment; matches: to close or not to close; how the eH peeps match us; and the photo dilemma.

Good night, and good luck. I'm gonna need it.